First off, what have you been up to since your playing days?
Now I’m just giving my life to God. It was tough after football – I was just starting to realize my potential then it was all cut short. I was injured then written off. Now I’m trying to figure out what my identity is.
I did some high school coaching – I’m still the defensive coordinator at a high school here. I bought a dump truck and did some materials moving for real estate companies but that didn’t last long. I’m just on the journey to find ways to continue to live my life.
But giving myself to the Lord has helped me and the kids I work with.
Has anyone helped you on that journey?
My pastor – we talk about who I am – myself. Now about what’s good for my family and fans and friends – but thinking of myself – what I think of myself. It’s about true self-love and giving myself the patience and grace I never gave myself as a player. As a player – in football you don’t give yourself any of that. I’m still learning how to do that now.
Who were some of the guys early on in your football career that helped you as a player – how so?
I wish. Back then it was more about being mentally tough – you can take time off now if you’re going through something. But then you couldn’t do that. The game and players have evolved – Covid really impacted that a lot. Now players are able to take care of their mental health more. People understand the game more. Before it was just entertainment and about how hard we could hit each other. Run fast and hit hard.
You have to prove yourself every day as a player. You couldn’t take a break and if you had issues you didn’t talk about them. If you need a break they sent you home.
It sounds like you had some things you were going through?
I did have some emotions I was going through, yeah. My father committed suicide when I was in high school – I was mostly healed from that. But I had no guidance after that. I didn’t know how to handle coaches talking down on me and then telling me how quick and fast I was. It all felt like a mind game to me.
What made you decide to sign with the Steelers?
I went on a visit – it was a small workout. I only did two-to-three drills for Carnell Lake, Rooney and Denzel Martin. Then they told me “We like you!” and sent me upstairs.
I liked Pittsburgh because it wasn’t close to home. I felt like being too close to home had too many distractions. I felt I needed to get away from home – away from family and friends – so I could focus. I was originally from California.
Who there helped you out most – who did you bond with?
Mike Mitchell was pretty good – he was always telling me I could play in the NFL. Danny Smith would come up and tell me the coaches were bringing my name up in meetings a lot – that he wanted me to be his gunner.
Xavier Grimble was a good friend from California – he and I used to hang out with those other California guys like Robert Woods. We all grew up in the inner city together. I stayed with Xavier at first until I found an apartment. He showed me the ropes and told me I could be myself here. That I just needed to make plays – but they treat you like humans, not numbers. It was a different type of organization from most.
Washington was the worst team I played for – there were too many moving parts. Alex Santos brought me in to Washington then cut me and told me I couldn’t play in the NFL – that I should go to Canada and play. I was listening to him thinking “What is he talking about?” It was horrible there – it didn’t make me love football. I fell in love with the game again in Pittsburgh. They have a big heart for their players.
That was after your first stint in the CFL – with British Columbia. How difficult was it moving back and forth between leagues with such different rules and physical dimensions?
I think it helped my game – you have to guard wide receivers who are already moving – that helped me to hone my skills more.
It also made me hungrier and more humble – it humbled me. That opened up doors and helped me to get back in the NFL and prove I could play.
A lot of bouncing around between teams – I don’t know if fans always understand the toll that has on players. How did you navigate that?
I don’t know how I did it! One day I was with the Chargers, then Washington called to sign me off of the practice squad. They never called the team – they just called me. I talked to my agent and he told me I should go. So I packed my stuff and broke my apartment lease and went the next day. My mom had to ship my car to me. Then after Washington released me I went right back to San Diego in time for the playoffs. I had nine or 10 teams show interest in me after I was released but I was familiar with San Diego. But it’s a lot – moving around like that.
Any good on or off field memories stand out?
I didn’t go out much – Pittsburgh was mostly bars and that wasn’t my thing.
I still watch my practice film! Going against AB (Antonio Brown) – I remember him running an out-route and picking it off. I had good matchups with Martavis Bryant and Darrius Heyward-Bey too. It made me feel that I belonged. I didn’t get the career that I wanted to have but I could say that I did everything I could in practice.