First off- what have you been up to since football?
Well – I have a 10 year-old daughter – I love working with her. She’s really become great at tennis and when she’s with me I really have a goos time working with her and seeing her get better!
For me – after the NFL I went to the CFL for a bit then I found my niche. I’m working with kids – I started with after school programs, helping others utilize my knowledge while I realized that I have a great passion for working with people. I started that 10-12 years ago.
Now, I put myself in a space to do it on my own. I got certified as a Behavioral Health Specialist and own a 33,000 square foot sports complex in Ohio where kids come after school to do everything from homework to train in basketball, football – even music and podcasting. I always wanted that as a kid and now I’m able to provide that vision for other kids. It’s all paid through insurance – you have to find the right people to execute that effectively and correctly. I’m actually working now with the NFLPA to grow it across the country. There are a lot of NFL players like me who were in the NFL for just a short period of time who can get involved.
Did you have mentors who helped show you how to work with others – and as a player?
My mom and brother were always there for me. My high school coach too – Shawn O’Toole. But the transition wasn’t smooth. I had a lot of trials and tribulations along the way. I still feel like I can play football! It didn’t end the way I wanted it to.
How so?
Well – it’s been a long time since I’ve re-lived it all. I was the Steelers fourth round pick – they took another linebacker, Jason Worilds, round two. So they had Worilds, Harrison, Woodley…it was hard to get a helmet with that group. But I made the team and traveled everywhere with them – I was on the active roster through week nine. They were making a run to the Super Bowl. Then Aaron Smith got hurt and everyone was scratching their heads on what to do. They didn’t put him on IR – they thought he could come back, but the brought up Steve McLendon from the practice squad to take his spot on the line.
They waived me when they did that and said they were going to put me on the practice squad – but I was claimed by the Eagles and 49ers. The 49ers had the worse record so I went there. Dick LeBeau called me then and told me that if they ever had a chance to bring me back again they would – he was sorry how it worked out, he said.
What happened after that?
No offense to Coach Singletary, but it was a shit-show there. No one was working like they did in Pittsburgh. But the defensive coordinator loved me.
But the second season, I learned my high school sweetheart wasn’t faithful. I wasn’t either – I just walked away from camp. While everyone went to practice I walked to my car and drove away. I wanted to be released so I could go back and work things out with my girl in DC. I fired my agent earlier – I spoke with Emmanuel Sanders who’s agent was sending him on trips and stuff – I wasn’t getting any of that! So I hired Emmanuel’s agent and told him I wanted to play for Washington to be close to my girl.
Well, San Francisco released me. They kept calling me – I just wouldn’t pick up. They had no idea what was going on. Washington picked me up after that, but when I got to Washington I found out my girlfriend was pregnant – with someone else’s kid. I altered my whole life to be with her and I was just shot. And now I’m starting over with a new team from the start – so I have to make the team in Washington. My friend Doug Worthington was there with me. The first preseason game he looked down and told me my shoes were on the wrong feet – that tells you had bad my focus was. I had barely studied the playbook. My focus was shot – I was a kid – I was just heartbroken. They released me soon after.
What did you do after that?
I bounced around after that. I went to Houston and made the practice squad there. Rick Smith was the GM there. They later released me but Rick told me they would re-sign me next Tuesday and make me active. I had flown my mom out that weekend. That Monday the Steelers put in a waiver claim for me. It turns out they did after San Francisco released me as well – so this was the third time they had looked to bring me in. They sent me a plane ticket and I was supposed to fly out there – but Rick said they were going to sign me on Tuesday so I never went to Pittsburgh. I thought I was going to be on the active roster in Houston. Harrison and Woodley called me asking me where I was – that they were at the airport waiting for me. But I didn’t go. And on Tuesday Rick told me he was sorry, but they weren’t going to sign me after all.
So now what?
I went to Chicago after that and played for them – I played in the Chicago-Green Bay game on Christmas. I felt like things may be starting to come together. But I broke my hand in camp the next year. They wanted to put me on IR but they had just drafted a linebacker and I wanted to compete and earn a roster spot, so I told them to put a club on my hand and I practiced with that. My agent wanted me to go on IR – I just wanted to compete and get reps. But after the first practice, they cut me.
How have you worked through all of those decisions looking back on them now?
It’s so hard thinking back on all of it. It’s very difficult – I know my purpose now but it’s hard when all of that stuff happened. Why didn’t I get on that plane? Why did I fly my mom to Texas? If I didn’t do that I probably would have been more likely to go back to Pittsburgh. Why couldn’t Rick have been honest? Why did Aaron have to get hurt? All of it makes you who you are but it’s tough.
Are there good memories that stand out?
LaMarr was like a brother to me. I remember the tight end drills – I wanted to pin my ears back but he stopped me and told me how to use my hands. He was so dominant against right ends he could do it with his eyes closed! It was like a brotherhood there. LaMarr just wanted me to be a good player – he was a Michigan guy – a high-round pick. Then you had James Harrison who did it the other way – undrafted from a small school. But they both knew what it took to be successful.
The rookie show – I am big on music -I like to write my own music. I roomed with AB and still have some of the music he and I recorded. Well, for the rookie show I put together a rap. They loaded us up with everything we needed – Air Force Ones, strobe lights….. Well, I started performing and the guys showed me no love! Harrison can be a super loving dude – he would give you the shirt off of his back. But he was blunt! He just shot me down. “This is trash!” He was not moved by it!
AB, Pouncey – we were all in the same draft class and were close. It still hurts – I should have gone back. I was a young kid – why did Rick Smith not just be honest with me – I would have gone back to Pittsburgh? I trusted him. That just still hurts.
But you now have your new passion yes? Have you been able to put it behind you now?
I have yes – but it took a while. I remember around 2015 Donald Washington and I went back to the Ohio State Pro Day. I wanted to talk to Coach Tomlin. I was up until 3 am the morning before writing a letter I wanted to give him about my experiences and wanting to come back. I saw him in the weight room and gave it to him there and left. Donald asked why I was leaving – I told him I just needed to get out of there. Donald ended up getting picked up by the Steelers for a short bit too. But the letter didn’t help in the end.
In 2020 I remember too – I was watching TV with my daughter, flipping through the channels. The Ohio State Pro Day came on and not just that – they showed Tomlin there. The Woody Hayes Center is around the corner from me. I looked at my daughter – it was the first time I had hr with me in month. I told her to out on her coat – we were going to the Pro Day and I was going to ask for another tryout. But when we got there I froze up – I couldn’t go in. I took my daughter shopping at Marshalls then tried again. As we walked in Tomlin and Kevin Colbert were walking out, towards us. I asked him for a tryout then and he gave me his number and told me to call him. But I never did. I just didn’t feel like I could put my best foot forward at that point – it was like a blur.