First, can you let me know what you’re doing with yourself now?
Well, to be honest my post-NFL time hasn’t been all that great. I did have a landscaping company in ’06 to ’07. I recently sold the lawn service to a buddy and gave the landscaping piece to my brother. I do the soliciting for him now.
The NFL has helped me out a lot. I’m now getting total physical and neurological disability from the NFL.
I know there was a lot you’ve dealt with in your post-NFL time, including drug and financial issues that have been hard to overcome. How are you doing now?
I don’t mind talking about it now. I’ve been sober for three years or more now. I’m sure it’s changed now since I played, but when I played it was like a candy shop. If you wanted something you could always get it. It’s regulated now I hope, but when I played if I needed a Vicotin I could get it easily.
It started when I broke my pubic bone in 1998 and then blew my leg out in 2000. I took painkillers when I had to. But you end up falling in love with them. In 2004 I had a triple back fusion.
So the painkillers kind of took over? What helped you recover?
Well in 2014 what made the difference was my wife. She went out to work and the car was gone – it was repo’d. There was a sheriff’s sale sign on our house because we were bankrupt. We were losing everything.
My wife was in cahoots with some of the wives of the players, and they hooked her up with the NFL Player’s Association. They sent me to rehab and a halfway house. And while I was there they paid her bills.
They made sure that when I filed for disability that I wouldn’t get a check until I was sober first. They weren’t just going to hand me checks. I had to see a psychologist. They made sure I was right before they helped me.
What really got you over things and made it possible to recover?
I didn’t want help. To be honest I wanted to die. I just didn’t give a shit. You take painkillers to take away the pain but when you take so many painkillers, you start to feel nothing physically or emotionally. It sets you into depression. I didn’t give a shit about me – about anything. I wanted to die. Really. It was ugly. I gotta figure, I was with my wife since my senior year in high school. We had a long time together. If she didn’t take that step to get me help, I guarantee I wouldn’t be around now.
I went to BeHop in West Palm Beach for rehab for 60 days. There were a lot of ex-players there. Famous guys you would have never though to see there. It’s very similar for all of us. It happens the same way, An injury and then surgery. I didn’t even take aspirin as a kid. I was a drug free kid, But it sucks you in.
How is your physical health now?
I’m getting a full ankle replacement in January. I coached high school football when my kids were older. I’d like to get into coaching again but it’s hard to coach when you can’t really be functional. I haven’t even jogged in 13 to 14 years.
The doctor told me I should be able to walk without a limp. Right now my toes are numb. My ankle is like a ball of rock. When you play you think you are invincible. It was my fault – I didn’t take the right steps to care of my body.
Let’s talk a bit about how it started. You were drafted by Pittsburgh in round three. Were you surprised?
I didn’t expect to be drafted by Pittsburgh. They showed no interest in me. The week leading up to the draft Dallas called me every day. They told me they would draft me in the fourth round. When Pittsburgh drafted me in the third it was a shock.
I was happy to stay in Pennsylvania though. Back then when they got to that third round it was about 10:00 at night. I lived in Redneckville then, if you know what I mean. I had thrown a party that night thinking I’d get drafted the next day. we had kegs of bear and were playing horseshoes. I was half-trashed when Cowher called! I put him on intercom and told everybody to shut up please! My dad had taken a drunk friend of mine home and was at the bar when he saw I was drafted on TV.
When you got there, did anyone help mentor you?
To be honest Jerome was against me being there. He brought Tim Lester with him from the Rams and they were like a brotherhood. But Tim was great. I knew my role as a rookie. he took me under his wing even though we were competing for a job. I really wasn’t a backup fullback -I was Jerome’s backup as a rookie. I wasn’t comfortable with it really. I was a one-cut, running and stumbling white boy.
In my third year they had to let Tim go. I went to Jerome and told him I wanted us to get along. He told me then I was his boy. I think I just had to prove myself to him. I n training camp I busted my ass and we got close. He took my money betting on bowling and I took his playing darts!
You blocked for a number of different backs. What was the difference between guys like Bettis and, say, McAfee?
I knew when Jerome was behind me, especially near the goal line, that if I got a stand – meaning if I hit a linebacker and it was a standoff – it was a win for me. I’d feel Jerome’s helmet in my back every freakin’ time.
Pegram,. McAfee – they would cut off the run. But Jerome would hit you hard. But it’s what I did since I was a fullback on college. You get a five-yard head start and hit linebackers. I was 6’2″ and fullbacks were usually shorter That wear and tear, bending over just got to me over time.
Any memories that stand out to you from your time there?
When I was young I remember Jason Gildon and Greg Lloyd getting into a shindig after a practice one day. Gildon backed down. I thought it would be a melee and didn’t get why Gildon backed down. I found out later Lloyd was a black belt bad ass. It was two alpha males and no backing down I thought. But the other guys told me that MF’er is a black belt!
What do you think of the way the game’s played today – especially as a former fullback?
I miss that kind of play now. It’s hard to watch, If I played now I’d never make division I. There’s no fullback now. I’m too small for tight end and too slow for running back.
Any advice for guys entering the game today?
One thing. Take full advantage of what the NFL offers in terms of education. You can go to school and play football. Go to the rookie sessions and take advantage of their programs. I regret not talking to the media more. I didn’t like talking to them much as a player. But now you see guys getting jobs in the media.
And stay on top of your finances. I put $330,000 into my 401K and my accountant took it all. I took $50k out of the account and gave it to him to pay bills and he didn’t pay those either – or the taxes on the money i took out of the account. He’s in jail now but we don’t know where the money is. My lawyer said I would be lucky to get 25% of it. He also stole from a number of elderly people. At least I’ll get my monthly checks – they”ll get nothing. Now, I owe the IRS $46,000 in taxes. I’m fighting it now, but I can’t even co-sign my kids’ college loans because I’m in Chapter 13, filing for bankruptcy.
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