First, I know you have your hands in a lot of different ventures. Can you first tell me about the upcoming Its3rdand1 podcast – guests, what brought on the idea, etc.?
I decided on doing the podcast because it was another venue to share the world of sports with people from a different perspective. Everything is so polarized now – politics and war… but we’re all human and all put our pants on the same way. We all go though challenges in life and I wanted to share that.
People look at athletes and coaches and think “Wow – they are so lucky!” But they don’t know the challenges they go though in their everyday lives.
I called the podcast “Third and 1” because we all have points in our lives when we are faced with challenges. If you’re the offense it’s time to push forward and reset your downs, and for the defense to hold and get off the field.
Any early spoilers on when you’ll be speaking with?
I love to interview people and connect with them – to hear their stories. I hope to inspire people to help them get through the things they are going through.
Right now I’m building up my collection of interviews – I’ve been doing that since May. It’s been an ongoing process and I’m excited to launch the podcast in August.
I’ll be speaking to people across all sports. My first guest is one I thought of first – when he agreed to do it I jumped. I’m honored that he said yes. It’s Jim Tressel. I’m not sure he knows how much he has meant to our family – he was with us since the start of the recruiting process and is a special man. He and his wife have been terrific to us.
I know you also consult with parents and athletes – what are the biggest issues you find yourself supporting them with as their children pursue their careers?
I start at the high school level. Schools bring me in to talk to the parents and athletes. Parents don’t always realize what coaches and athletic directors do and what should and should not be priorities. I try to talk to parents about not putting pressure on their child at the high school level.
I talk to college students and their parents as well. The whole thing is different now with NIL and the transfer portal. I try to talk to them about the statistics of how many players make it to the professional level. What does that look like for them – what are their priorities? And I also speak to them about things like how to pick an agent and how to make sure you are being smart financially.
At the professional level it’s really more of a reality check. Parents and athletes often think that now, they have made it. They all think they are living their dream now. It’s an exciting time, but they also need a reality check. Everyone thinks things will be good forever, but it doesn’t always work like that. We were fortunate that we stayed in our house for 30 years – we never moved. Some families though look at professional sports as a lifestyle choice versus a job and don’t always make great decisions. I always taught my kids to treat sports like a job – not a lifestyle. To not try and keep up with the Jones’ – instead, to plan ahead.
I speak to players often about having that “Plan B” in life, and many who were resistant to the idea because accepting a Plan B meant accepting potential failure as a player. How do players balance those two concepts mentally so they can succeed as a player but be ready for that next step?
You can’t think of it that way. The reality is anything depending on your body staying healthy can end at any minute. Anything can happen. It’s not about preparing for the worst, it’s just reality.
When you see the contracts kids sign – especially the first contracts – slice those in half for taxes. Then take out agent fees then spread that across 20 or 30 years. The average career lifespan is two-to-four years. Spread that out over years and that does that look like? You can’t look at the contract and say “Whoah.” You’ve got to look at all of the expenses, your career span and where all of that money goes.
I tell rookies to make sure they network and make connections while they are in this world. Many players fall off when they retire or are cut. I advise players to utilize the offseason job programs – to take advantage of those. Maybe even go back and get their degree.
Players are also used to that comradery and having had everything scheduled for them. That transition can be difficult.
Having lived with four sons who have played at a high level – two now in the NFL who still balance football and “civilian life” on a daily basis – how have they managed to navigate these issues so well? What has worked for them?
I think it’s the way they were raised. We taught them that it is a privilege to play sports. They couldn’t play if they didn’t get good grades and show good sportsmanship. They were taught that you had to work harder than the next person – someone is always there to try to take your job. You can’t take anything for granted.
What has worked really was having a work ethic that translated to good life skills as well. You wouldn’t know that football was a part of our lives when you walked into our house. It was a job – and you did that to take care of your family. They knew the importance of developing hobbies outside of football and getting to know themselves. All those things worked for them, I believe.
I saw Cam’s recent post about taking the game personally and your response. How frustrating and difficult is that as a parent – and as a player – to see that criticism, and when/how do you decide to respond to it?
Social media has made it a whole different ballgame. When you decide to be on social media you have to be prepared to see the good and the bad. There are people always out to bait you because they want to have a conversation with you and have nothing better to do with their time. You have to be prepared to see what you don’t and do like.
What made you decide to respond to the post?
I take things more personally than the kids. As a parent it’s totally different. The kids tell me it’s alright and it’s rare that I would respond. But I know the effort and the passion Cam puts into the game and how much he and Connor do for others – the sacrifices they make. No one knows how much athletes sacrifice to play – no one plays 100% healthy. And the mental toll is hard too – you have to have a certain mental capacity to play at that level and face the best every week.
So, when I saw his post I saw how much something had really bothered him. Something that made him feel he had to share that. So that’s when mama bear came out and I had to share what I felt too. He sacrificed a lot because he cares about the city and the Pittsburgh community.
Having two sons who play in an organization known for its positive culture and brotherhood, what as a parent do you see that has made that work so well for the players? What sets it apart from your perspective?
The Steelers have had just three coaches since the 70’s – they believe in continuity. They don’t have coaching turnover like other teams. They understand that it’s football, but that sports in Pittsburgh brings the community together. The responsibility of a head coach in Pittsburgh is to be a part of that city. To take a group of men that are all fighting to be on the field because it’s their dream, and to get them to gel. It’s a tough job to weed out any and all distractions. He’s not perfect but he has done a great job of leading a bunch of men, many of who had been treated like superstars since high school.
Tomlin treats players like men. When players leave for better contracts or opportunities, they often say they didn’t know how good they had it. Until you need reined in, Tomlin treats you with grace.
And I tell people, that if you play for the Steelers, when you retire or leave after making an impact in the community, you’re part of the community forever. We love our athletes. You can’t take that for granted and burn bridges. If you are supposed to be at an event then show up and get there early. And if they want you to stay late, then stay late. It all comes back to you in the end.
I always preached that to my sons. The power of networking is huge. I told them that if you meet someone, try to remember something about that person that you can bring back to the next conversation with them. My biggest networker is Connor – he’s such a people person. He’ll hang around and ask questions. He once stayed the night at a friend’s house and ended up staying up asking his grandparents questions.
From your perspective, what if anything can the NFL do more of to help players deal with many of the issues you discussed here today?
You can always be doing more. But the NFL has come a long way. Back in the day none of these programs for players were available in the offseason.
I think the NFL can do more with the mental health support. It would be helpful to have it offered to the wives and families of players. A lot goes on in this world and you don’t see as much support for the wives. They are dealing with the family responsibilities – the NFL can help them more with counseling and help in dealing with the stress and pressure players have from all the expectations placed on them.
A lot of people for example think that NFL players get tickets for away games – but they get none. Teaching players and families the power of “No.’ when they get requests for things like tickets – that is part of what I do to help athletes and their families. You can’t become a crutch for others. It’s hard but it’s reality. I see parents sometimes living larger than the athletes – and you know that’s just a disaster waiting to happen.