Joe Greene: “Putting Lynn Swann in one of the grocery carts we used for dirty laundry, yes. Tying him up so he couldn’t get out and spraying shaving cream all over him, then rolling him into Chuck’s office. I pushed the cart into Chuck’s office and his desk was about 15 feet from the door, so I moved away and he didn’t see me when the cart hit his desk. But he just raised his head up, looked at Swann with the shaving cream all over him, then just went back to work. It was always something with Swann.”
Clark Haggans: “I used to room wth Larry Foote the night before games. We’d take the bus to the hotel and he’d run to get to the key cards – they were all lined up alphabetically. He’d get his and hide mine so he could get to the room first and get the remote so he could DJ the TV all night. He’d watch Michigan games and call his uncle after every play. Not every so often. After every play.
We once tried to set up Butts {Coach Butler}. We were playing Seattle in Seattle. Me and Larry checked in and had a couple of hours before our next meeting. We called Butts’ room and told him we were Sports Illustrated and wanted to interview him on his time in Seattle – about guys like Steve Largent that he played with. We told him he needed to meet us in the lobby. He got all excited. But somebody dimed us out – he caught on to us. We wanted to make him late for the meeting, but when we got to the meeting he said “Ha ha. Very funny. You’re trying to get me fired!”
After the Super Bowl win in Detroit he went to his hotel room with his wife – I think they got ice cream sundaes. They just wanted to celebrate with a quiet night in the hotel. Well, we were walking around with the robes and cigars. Farrior got the linebackers and knocked on his door. He said it was 3 am – it was more like a cool 1:30 am! He was mad about that. I told him I’d tell his wife that it wasn’t right how he treated us. I liked to tease him about that. That he beat us with rulers when we watched film. He told us she’d never believe it – but he always gave us that look when his family was around. you know – that “You better not!” look.
He also used to joke and threaten me with this Karate punch – said he’d chop my throat and put me down. I mean, come on, he didn’t know Karate. Guy was from Alabama. Come on.”
Greg Warren: Jeff Reed and I worked together and were good friends, but that was a Jeff-only thing, calling the buses during camp. I was too young to try that and get in trouble, but Jeff was a savvy vet and could afford to do something like that.
When the buses rolled up during camp, we all knew that meant to go take a quick shower and see movies. On those grueling days of camp they were great breaks from those days. So it was pretty cool to get those breaks, Players got excited when they saw those buses roll up, but when Tomlin told everyone it wasn’t happening, they all realized it was a trick and looked at Jeff pretty quickly. They knew it was him. They were all disheartened for a good 10 minutes.”
Brent Sexton: “I do remember one night out. I was heading back to my apartment and it had just snowed and iced the roads heavily. We were given cars by the local dealership to use and I just about got to the apartment when my car slipped on the ice and hit a parked car. I drove away and went back to the apartment afterwards. Jack Lambert and I were roommates and I told him what happened. The next day I was on the practice field and Ralph Berlin came up to me and told me there was a sheriff’s deputy in the lobby waiting to see me. That someone was in the car I hit and was seriously injured. Jack had told a lot of guys at camp about my accident so everyone was looking at me now.
So, I went with Ralph through the treatment room into the lobby where they said he was waiting for me and it turned out to be a prank. Lambert was behind it and told Ralph what to do! Man, I thought that was it. The whole time walking to the lobby I thought I was going to get arrested and go to jail for leaving the scene of an accident!”
Tunch Ilkin: “Gary Dunn and Beasley. Once they took John Goodman’s bed, clock, fan, everything and put it all in the bathroom stall. They left clues behind to make it look like I did it. Kohrs jumped on the bandwagon and he and Goodman accused me of doing it and later got back at me by doing something to my room.
There was also this box with a spring-loaded top that would snap open if you released the latch – it was Dunn’s. He would tell the rookies he had this wild mongoose in there. I was the keeper of the box after he left. We’d tell the rookies about this nasty mongoose in there – how it would tear up snakes and that we’d let them go feed it someday.
If you looked at the box you’d see this furry tail sticking out. We’d throw chicken bones in there for noise and tell the guys to take this straightened out coat hanger and poke at the mongoose in the box – really playing it up. Then we’d hit the latch and the tail would go flying out. Keith Willis knocked over three guys running out of the door and down the stairs yelling “The mongoose is loose!”
Vance McDonald: “Al could get so fired up with almost any topic. He and Dave were good friends but would argue about everything. Then Pounce would join in and throw fuel into the fire and get Al worked up. You’d think Pouncey was heated about the topic too, then he’d look at you and give you that signature wink and you knew he was just getting a rise out of Al!
They’d argue then go into the next practice period, then right after Al would start yelling again about what they were talking about before. It was funny to watch.”
Elbert Ellis: “We had five minutes to get on the field for practice when I went to my locker to get my helmet and it was taped to the hook at my locker. I was freaking out – I has to the the tape off strip by strip! They were all laughing at me. I didn’t know it though but they also put Icy Hot on my mouthpiece. And those are specially fit for players – you couldn’t replace them easily. I didn’t know out until I was on the field – my mouth was on fire the entire practice! I never did figure out who did it!”
Tom Beasley: “Well, one of my better pranks was on Lambert. Lambert enjoyed hunting. I had a friend who hunted rattlesnakes – name was Gary.
So, to go back a year, Jack came into the bar that me, Dunn and Stoudt were at. Said to me “Thanks for buying me a drink!”. He was being sarcastic. So when the waitress came over, I told her to bring him a Shirley Temple, with a pink umbrella, and tell him who bought it for him.
Jack came over and “accidentally” spilled the drink on me. I told him I’d get him back for that.
So, a year or so later. My friend Gary comes in and says he’s going rattlesnake hunting again. I tell him to bring his snake box, and a spare one too. He asked why but I just told him he’ll see.
So, we all meet in town for dinner. We all go to Gary’s truck and Gary opens up the snakebox and there are six rattlesnakes in there. Jack hates snakes. He’s petrified of them. So he runs to his car which was right near the truck and pulls out his 9mm gun and says he’s going to shoot the snakes. He flipped out – Gary put them away and I told Jack to watch out for those snakes tonight.
So when Jack leaves the dorm later that night I snuck into his room with the spare snakebox and leave it in there opened up.
When we all met with Chuck the next morning, Jack told him he was going to have me arrested for attempted murder! Chuck told us all he needed to keep us busier as we all obviously had too much spare time. I told Dunn I was getting out of there!”
Kendall Simmons: “Troy Polamalu! One night, Troy and a couple of the guy were hanging out. They decided to play a prank on my wife and I at 3 a.m. They rang our doorbell and ran away after leaving old food at our door. They came back again and this time, I let my Great Dane out on them. A year or so passed by until I found that Troy was behind it all.”
Bubby Brister: “I do remember offensive lineman Brian Blankenship – he was our long snapper, and I was the holder sometimes. Before games he would make bets with the other team during warmups that he could, while on one knee, throw the ball over the goalposts from the 50-yard line. He was a 6’2″, 315 pound lineman. It was always funny seeing him gambling with the other teams’ players trying to make some money. And he was always able to do it. It was really 60 yards because of the endzone.”
Tony Dungy: “Oh yeah. In October I remember Franco coming up to me and telling me that for Thanksgiving all the rookies get a turkey, but that he knew I probably didn’t how to cook it, so if I didn’t mind, maybe I could just give it to him. I said sure. About six weeks later Mel Blount came up to me and asked if I could give the turkey to him. That his wife would cook it and invite all of the defensive backs over to eat it with them. I told him I really liked the idea but I had already promised it to Franco. Mel told me that Franco was just being selfish – that he does that every year. So I asked Franco if he would mind me giving it to Mel and he said sure, that he’d just get one from one of the rookie offensive linemen.
Well, the night before Thanksgiving Mel told me that Jim Boston had my turkey and that I should go get it from him. So I went to his office and he said I should get it from Dan Rooney. So I went to him and he told me he gave the last one to Chuck Noll – that he felt really bad and that this wasn’t like them to make that kind of mistake. He told me I should just go ask Chuck for it.
Well, I went back to Mel and told him there was no way I was going to ask Chuck Noll for his turkey! The whole locker room started laughing. I knew other teams played jokes on their players, I just didn’t see it coming!”
Rocky Bleier: “I remember they tied me up to a goalpost with duct tape and left me there after practice. Dwight White and some other guys stuffed me in the golf cart they used for equipment and taped me inside, and rolled me into Chuck’s office and left me there. It was always in good humor.”
Matt Spaeth: “I do remember once – my rookie or second year. I came in a year after Cowher left – with Coach Tomlin. Cowher always did something spontaneous in camp when guys were miserable. Buses would roll up and they’d go to the movies or something.
Well, this time under Tomlin, a couple of guys played a practical joke. During camp all of the sudden buses started rolling in. They ordered the buses as a joke – just to get the guys excited, They even spread rumors that they’d be taken somewhere fun. Tomlin didn’t know anything about it and I don’t think he was very happy!”
Merril Hoge: “The language was different too. As a rookie, I was asked to go speak at a midget football banquet. Wolfley was supposed to do it but they said he got hurt in practice. I said sure, though I didn’t remember Wolfley getting hurt. I just thought maybe it was one of those things veterans promise to do months before and change their minds.
Well, I hurry and go home and get changed and get directions. There was no GPS then. And I was thinking to myself, I never saw a midget football game before. They must have at least 33 midgets to form a league – to have enough of them to have enough teams for a league. I said to myself, “Good for them! They have their own league.” It was really inspirational and I thought it would be really cool to see them play.
I started forming my speech in my head….it was the little league, not midget football!
Well, when I got there a lady was sitting there when I walked in. All I see is the welcome Craig Wolfley banner and a bunch of parents and kids. I was late, so she hurried up and announced me and gave me the microphone. I’m sitting there saying to myself, “Oh my God!”
I had only prepared the midget football speech. So, I gave them the speech anyway – I explained to them what I had thought and they were rolling on the ground they were laughing so hard.”
Tom O’Malley – Steelers Charity Basketball Team Coach: “ There was one game in the 70’s – we’d do Globetrotter type skits sometimes – pull down the shorts of guys at the foul line, that kind of thing to make fans laugh. Well, Marv Kellum did that to one guy – gave a quick pull of some guys shorts and they fell right to the floor – and the guy was wearing a jock strap – nothing else. He had to scramble and pull up his pants but he was butt-naked, mostly!
Joey Porter – he ripped the entire backboard down on a dunk. And Max Starks – once he came in flip flops and still dunked twice!
And Antwaan Randle El was a great basketball player – he played under Knight in Indiana. One game he threw a perfect lob pass to a guy who just couldn’t handle it – let’s just say that guy wasn’t so great. Well, Deshea Townsend looked at me and said “You got to know your personnel!”
BJ Finney: “Another time we were watching film on Buffalo. We were going through the tape and on the tape you always had the screen showing the time, down and distance so you understood the situation. Well, above the screen was a fan with no shirt. It was snowing – you could just tell they were freezing. Well one of the linemen points that out and Munchak just responded: “Oh yeah. I’m trying to show you this blitz on film and you see the guy with no shirt on instead!”
Tom Korte: “I remember being in the linebacker room for the first time for meetings. James Harrison and Coach Butler would go at it a lot for fun – they’d yell at each other and give it back to each other. I didn’t know that and in that first meeting Harrison started screaming at Butler and Butler started screaming back at him, the Harrison flipped over the table. Then everyone started laughing, I had no idea what was happening. I just saw this All-Pro super intimidating guy yelling at guy linebacker coach!”
Brentson Buckner: “There were lots of practical jokes. We’d run the bathroom hose under the stalls in the locker room. Guys would hide car keys and play jokes on each other in practice.
You had to laugh. Football gets to be real monotonous by mid-season. Loosening the lid on the salt shakers so it pours into guys’ food, hot sauce in the ketchup. It was the little things – we never went over the edge.”
Brett Keisel: “I think it was in my third year – I had come off IR. I grew a beard out while I was getting back in shape and someone gave me a hard time about it so I shaved it. Well, Casey Hampton and I had breakfast every day together. That day I sat at the table when Casey came up to me, stuck his hand out. and introduced himself and asked me where I came from. He had no idea who I was. That was my first indication of how different I looked without a beard!”
Emil Boures: “Oh yeah – you had to check your jock strap for Icy Hot every day. And at lunch, Webster would act like he was going to hold the elevator for you then right before you’d step in he’d step out and press every button so you had to wait forever for it to come back.
Also on Fridays we’d have a locker room guy go get us fish sandwiches. Mike would hide Sulphur in one of the lockers so it smelled like shit, then he’d blame the locker room guy. That guy got it from all of the players. And of course, Mike never confessed. Mike? Hell no!”
Ziggy Hood: “I remember – I think this was before a Cincinnati game. I was getting ready and Hines Ward was getting a flu shot right before the game. Why he chose then to do it I have no idea. But he was running around patting his backside yelling a line from the Will Farrell movie “Ma! The meatloaf!” with his full gear on and his pants halfway down! I still laugh when I tell that story.”
D.J. Johnson: “As you have I’m sure been told by many guys, Dick LeBeau is one of the coolest guys on the planet. One game we were playing Kansas City and I just got Mack trucked by Christian Okoye. I was sitting on the bench afterwards, feeling like Daffy Duck when Yosemite Sam shot his beak off. I was tilting my head back and forth shaking it off. Well, Dick saunters over. He just looks at me and says “He’s a big fucker, ain’t he?”
Mike Sandusky: ” John Henry Johnson – he and I used to play pranks on each other. He was a funny guy – a great player. Well once I had some white tape and wrote three k’s on it and taped it to his car. He came back and said “God damn Mike! What are you doing – I live in the Black section of town. You’re going to get me killed!” But he laughed – we were close and it was a different time. We could joke like that then.
Buddy Dial used to room with Ed Beatty when we practiced at Slippery Rock. Once I caught a bird and put it in his dresser drawer in his room – I propped the drawer open enough so the bird could breathe and all. Well, Buddy went into his room and a little while later we heard a loud scream! “Who did this!” he yelled. I didn’t tell him it was me until a while later!”
Jonathan Scott: “I pretended to start tripping out, yelling “He beat me!” then I knocked all of the balls in the pockets and yelled for a redo. I was acting like a sore loser and getting him riled up. There was some money on the line! Finally he saw I was kidding and told me he was going to get me back for it.
Well, later on we’re in the meeting room with the quarterbacks and offensive linemen. Charlie {Batch} is a big prankster – maybe the biggest one on the team then. We’re all standing up in front of our chairs and Charlie’s in the back, stretching as we’re waiting on Ben, Dixon and the other guys to come in. Finally they do and Charlie tells me to get a rookie to put the screen up. He’s standing behind me and I’m not thinking he’s about to do something, but as I go back to sit down he slowly pulls the chair out as I’m sitting. Well, I do this super slow fall, and it’s really embarrassing. And he records it all. I sat slowly and I fell over slowly, and knock over all the juice and the table. Everyone’s laughing, even the coaches.
Terry Hanratty: “I kept the team loose.
For example, everyone was afraid of Lambert. Here was this mean, bar-fighting guy from Kent State. But he was a rookie and I wasn’t going to let him get away with that.
Every day Lambert would walk into the locker room and glare at me as I smoked my cigarette and had my coffee, then go to his locker. Well, one day he put his shoulder pads on and out dumped two cups of water on his head. I put the two cups in his shoulder pads.
This went on for three days in a row- every day he’d do the same thing and the water would dump on his head. On the fourth day, I went up to Jack and said “You dumb SOB, you’re getting boring! Check your shoulder pads next time!” The fifth day he checks his pads – no water. He looks at me with this big grin like he just won something. The next day, he puts on his pads, and dumps another two cups of water on his head (laughing).
Another time with Lambert. In practice we’re lining up across from one another and I blow a kiss at him. So he yells across the field to Chuck “Chuck – Hanratty just blew a kiss at me!” Well, he realized as soon as he did it what he said, and everyone started laughing – even Chuck!
I got Noll too. When we first went to Three Rivers stadium, there were no places to eat around there. We had to get there really early to watch film. So Preston Pearson, who was our player rep at the time, went to the Rooneys and asked for them to provide the players food. They got us burgers, soups and stuff. Chuck hated the idea – he hated anything extra for the players. He told us that we better not get sleepy and tired eating all this food.
So in practice, during stretches, as we’re all on our backs, Chuck walks by. I started snoring and pretending to be asleep. I don’t think Chuck liked that.”
Dave Smith: “I always joked in the locker room. One day I went too far with Preston Pearson and he came after me with a baseball bat. We used to practice with the Pirates then on the same field. One of the guys dared me to say something to Preston and I did and he came after me. I told him, “Preston, hold off on that bat. Let me go get some insurance first before you break my knees, I’ll make more from insurance than I will if I play!’ Everyone laughed. I never really took him seriously. He was always bothered about me and the way I was there.”
Chris Hoke: “Troy Polamalu was always doing pranks on the field. He’d roll up tape into a ball and stuff it into the trainer’s horn so when he blew it during practice no sound came out.”
LaMarr Woodley: “Every year the rookies in the linebacker room have to go get the candy and keep the fridge stocked with drinks. My second or third season, Chris Carter was supposed to get the candy but he wasn’t doing it. So, I had to put a hit out on him. He just bought a new Cadillac – so I had my guy fill it up with popcorn up to the roof. He was pissed – but there was nothing he could do! The funniest thing was, the day I ordered the hit, he finally brought the candy. But it was too late – I tried but I couldn’t call the hit off.”
Jordan Berry: “DeAngelo Williams was one guy. In camp we’d make fun of how old he was and he didn’t like that. So one time while the running backs were in their meeting we got all of the ballboys together and blew up hundreds of balloons and filled his room up.
He can take a joke though. Just getting rid of all of those balloons wasn’t so fun!”
Chris Hoke: “Troy Polamalu was always doing pranks on the field. He’d roll up tape into a ball and stuff it into the trainer’s horn so when he blew it during practice no sound came out. Ward would throw grass into people’s mouths when they talked. Ward was a good locker room guy.”
Darrell Nelson: “Gillespie was a prankster. He’d pretend to be a superhero and tackle Stallworth when he walked into the locker room. He’d have him spread eagle on the floor wrestling with him when he caught him!”
RJ Prince: “There was this one event that me and the rest of the rookies did at the Dick’s Sporting Goods out at Cranberry Township. Chukwumah Okorafor and Patrick Morris were riding with me, and we came upon these exits. My GPS on my iPhone messes us up and it tells us to take the exit that’s coming up in about 400 feet, so I take the exit. The exit we were suppose to take was actually the next exit about 100 feet up. The exit we took put us on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, and I’m thinking: “Okay, there’s gotta be a exit coming up, and we can just pull off and turn around.” Wrong. There were no exits, and we had to drive about 15 to 20 minutes down the turnpike until we got to this interchange outside of Big Beaver.
We turned around, drove 15-20 minutes back, and the guys won’t let me live it down and are hounding me. Since it was the holiday season and it was snowing, I wasn’t gonna get pestered, so I was just driving and enjoying the scenery and snow. I put on some music off the soundtrack from Polar Express and they weren’t having it, so I gave the AUX to Pat. He puts on a song from Bowling for Soup, and in the song, they sing: “I bet you missed your exit…” We all started cracking up. I gotta take an L for that one, but it was an adventure. I don’t blame myself, I blame my iPhone and Siri! . Funny thing is, we ended up being there early compared to the other guys!”
Lee Mays: “One time I remember getting ready for practice and I couldn’t find my helmet. I’m freaking out. I’m a rookie and the coaches are yelling at me as I’m walking around with pads on and no helmet. It turns out Hines had it the whole time. He had his helmet on and mine in his hands laughing. But the coaches didn’t find it amusing!”
Gary Dunn: “Well they moved me to nose tackle when they moved the team to a three-man front. I asked Webster to take it easy on me in practice. I had just come off a season where I led the team in sacks and thought I’d be a the sack guy, but oh well.
Well, Mike said “Sure Dunny, I’ll take it easy on you.” The first play he knocked me back so far I almost took Lambert’s legs out. Jack asked me if I was going to make it… He abused me the whole practice. I was so dejected , riding home that day in my GTO because we had the next day off. Well, Webster drives by me on the freeway in his Lincoln, and beeps at me and says hi. I just gave him the finger.
Well, we’re talking and he tells me to pull over on the freeway and I do. He asked me why I was angry and I told him he made me look bad. He said no, I did well. The next thing you know we’re doing drills on the side of the Turnpike. I drove him into his Lincoln and he said, “See, you’re getting it.” Then he threw me over the railing, started laughing and walked to his car and drove away still laughing!”
Mike Wagner: “In the old locker room we didn’t have a phone. The only phone was in the equipment room on the wall there next to the locker room. The equipment manager then was Tony Parisi. He was a great guy . If you needed anything he’d get it for you. He was also very interested in how people made their money. Always looking for opportunities.
When we’d have phone conversations, he’d often listen in. Whether we were talking to our families, doing business… So one year I pretended to have a business. I got on the phone for five or ten minutes before or after practice every day…this was when they had the tax shelter programs so you could form limited partnerships and strike it rich in the oil and gas industry.
So every day I’d get on the phone and pretend to have a conversation. “Really? How many barrels? How much was that check for?” I’d continue it on for a couple of weeks and draw Parisi in.
So one day, I’m sitting on my stool in the locker room and look up and see Ernie Holmes striding towards me. He pulls up a stool and asked me what was going on. Then he says “Hey Mike, I want a job at that oil company you have.” Ernie was from Texas, and he thought I had an oil well there! I told him it was just a joke I was playing on Tony, but he wouldn’t believe me. It took me two weeks to finally convince Ernie that I didn’t really own an oil well!”
Aaron Smith: “I have a great one about Joey Porter. Joey was always a big talker but I wasn’t a huge talker. We were playing Baltimore and we were killing them. I was across from Orlando Brown – and he was big on intimidation. The visor, the way he looked at you like he was crazy and threw his arms around. Well I was kicking Orlando’s butt but again, I wasn’t one to talk trash. That wasn’t my thing. But Joey started yelling at Orlando and talking trash to him, telling him “Smith is kicking your butt!” I kept telling Joey to shut up – that he didn’t have to line up across from him.. He didn’t even have to line up on the same side!”
Eric Sams: “In Latrobe after practice Lambert would come up to us. We’d all be standing around and he’d tell you a stupid joke and you had to laugh. He’d stare at you like he was about to go at it with you until you did!”
Brad Wing: ‘We did have a lot of time on our hands. I remember one time there was a rookie – I forget who it was – but they filled his entire car with bubble gum. Danny Smith was a big gum chewer and he was a special teams guy so they decided to fill the rookie’s car with 3,000 pieces of gum! He couldn’t even get in the car.
Also, I remember meeting James Harrison for the first time. He was a big old fella. I walked up to him and introduced myself: “Hi James, I’m Brad.” He told me that the last punter had two jobs. To punt and wash his back after every practice! I just said “What kind of soap do you like James?” He laughed and said it was the right answer! After that he and I became great friends. I joke with him still that one day I’d box his kid when he hits 30, and I may have a chance at beating him.”
Larry Brown: “I also remember Dennis Hughes who was a tight end from Georgia. He and Hanratty used to go back and forth, taking things out of each others’ lockers, putting that hot gel stuff in people’s shorts…They were always doing something, hiding clothes….
Well, one day, Dennis just got done getting someone with a practical joke. He was so excited that he got someone – he was laughing and walking to his locker. But he doesn’t see his clothes. He just said “Dog gone – someone stole my clothes!” The whole locker room started howling. It finally occurred to him that he was wearing them the whole time!”
Ken Woodard: “I also remember the old Pittsburgh candy joke! Mr. Goodbar was on the corner of 5th Avenue and Clark Avenue when Mrs. Hershey came by and he showed her his Milky Way! She let out a Snicker and soon they had some Sugar Babies!”
Jayson Foster: “I had to imitate Randel El when I was on the practice squad. I got the play card – it was a reverse pass. I kept my gloves on – I didn’t want to give anything away. Well, the receiver got wide open on the play but I threw it way over his head
Well, in the meeting room we’re watching film of practice. Tomlin pulls up the play then goes over my passing stats in college, then announces to everyone that the one time I had a chance to throw the ball I missed it! We all got a good laugh at that.”